Of Cow Appreciation Day. [In Which I Sold My Self-Respect for $5.39.]

Would you humiliate yourself for five dollars and thirty-nine cents?

 Sigh. I didn’t think I would, either. I also didn’t foresee getting suckered into “Cow Appreciation Day” at Chik-fil-a. [Again with that tragically irresistible crack-laced chicken!] Sometime around eleven AM this morning, I was somehow reminded that today, July 9, is Cow Appreciation day at Chik-fil-a. Now, if you’re an American with a pulse, you are already fully cognizant of the fact that this means if you show up at Chik-fil-a wearing anything cow-related, you get a free sandwich. If, however, you decide to fling your sense of dignity out the window, flush your self-respect down the toilet and douse any remaining shred of pride in your life in gasoline-you can light a proverbial match by dressing head to toe, like a cow.

I don’t know what came over me-truly, I don’t. I’m a snob through-and-through, and though working with Crusade in Africa means that Bob Cratchit is beginning to look rather well-to-do to me, I can afford a five dollar meal at Chik-fil-a. For some inexplicable reason, however, at 11:15 AM this morning I found myself begging my eleven year old little sister to dress up like a cow with me so we could go get free Chik-fil-a. [Thank goodness I had the presence of mind to realize that I needed to have a child with me!] It was as though some relentless alien force had taken over my body-one that I was entirely confident that I could exorcize only by eating an original chicken sandwich, waffle fries and a Dr. Pepper. For free.

 And so it was with my head hanging and a rather sheepish expression on my face that I shuffled into Chik-fil-a covered in black-and-white construction paper spots [I wasn’t even a GOOD cow!] and hastily mumbled my order to the cashier. Who, for the record, took a picture of my precocious little sister-with me shrinking back in horror in the background. So help me, if I wind up in the newspaper…I’m moving to Africa.


  1. Elizabeth Kraemer says:

    At least you weren’t a part of a cow herd that was your entire office wearing matching t-shirts and your “chick-fil-a” cow name on your back. yes, that actually happened to me.

  2. NotBenOber says:

    I. Died. Wish I could have been there.

  3. I couldn’t do it. Well, I was on the road for 5 hours that day. But I just couldn’t do it.
    You know they give it to you if you just put some black dots on a white t too.

  4. That’s even better than what I imagined… and I had a pretty good cow in mind too

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