Red, White, and Butt-Naked. [Almost.]

With Cayce.

We decided to channel our red, white and blue and eat cheeseburgers for dinner tonight.

Cheeseburgers will forever remind me of Cayce. Cayce was one of my roommates in college, and it wasn’t at all uncommon for me to wake up on any given early weekday morning, in a feat of epic proportions sluggishly drag my uncaffeinated, highly perturbed little body out of bed, and stumble confusedly towards the general direction my coffee pot in the kitchen only to be rudely startled by the unmistakable aroma of frying beef.

Not something you expect to smell at the crack of dawn. French vanilla coffee, yes. Hunks of dead cow simmering in lard…no.

Roomates.

And sure enough, there would be Cayce, plastic spatula in hand, cheerfully frying enough hamburgers to feed a small third world country.

In. Her. Underwear.

Those of you that know my sweet redneck roomate already know I’m not making this up-somehow in her free spirited mind, it simply  made sense to wake up at 5AM and fry forty-eight hamburger patties in nothing but underwear and boots. The rationale was simple: if you weren’t wearing any clothes, you couldn’t get grease on them. And everybody knows hamburgers freeze just beautifully.

…I never did figure out the boots, though. They were probably just to make sure that $4.98 jumbo tube of double-coupon Food Lion ground chuck knew who was in charge.

Inevitably, no many times I’d seen her do it or how late I’d been up studying the night before, I would dissolve into peals of helpless, insuppressible laughter.

Those were the days. :) These are the days. Speaking of roomates, Michelle is currently tinkering with coffee grounds, old jars and knives in the kitchen in a hysterical endeavor to make a DIY roach trap she discovered on the internet after a rather lengthy google search. [Much to her chagrin, we were fresh out of boric acid powder, which is apparently preferable to the coffee grounds alternative.] This is just one in an endlessly long series of attempts to exorsize the bugs from our lives-I believe Christy has been put to work strategically placing cloves all over our apartment. [Something about ants not liking cloves popped up as well, apparently. And if it’s on the internet, it must be true…]

Okay, now she’s throwing pepper around the kitchen like it’s holy water [Is pepper for the ants or the roaches? It may have something to do with the baby spiders-I’ve really lost track at this point.] and is hollering about letting small geckos loose in the house. Time to run and do some damage control. I adore the girls I get to live with!

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