Be the Change. [And Then Put It In My Ziplock!]

JCP_3508My sweet husband celebrated the week of my birthday by taking me to a charming local coffee dive called Professor Java’s every single night for the most divine decaf iced caramel latte of my LIFE. Or at least of this month. Professor Java’s is the kind of place that makes me want to pierce my nose, stop brushing my hair and go buy Toms all in the first ten, glorious, hipster seconds that I walk in the front door and then I’m all OHISHOPATJCREW. And if the fact that I’m ordering decaf at 8:00 PM isn’t a glaring testament to the unavoidable reality that I’m getting old and boring, I don’t know what is. My college self would kick me.

Kellan and I justified this casual extravagance by paying for each cup of coffee entirely in change. If you know me, you know that there are few things in life that I love more dearly than paying for a latte in quarters and dimes [fine, and the occasional nickel] because everybody knows that change is not real money. Thus, caramel lattes purchased with change=free. Kellan’s Duke education rendered him incapable of understanding this higher-level math for the first eleventy-billion times that I explained it to him, but I think that he’s finally catching on. This may or may not have had something to do with the fact that I speak to him in the voice of Simba’s criminal Uncle Scar when he tries to discard of his change instead of putting it in the dirty ziplock that I carry in my purse.


It’s a thug world, and I’m just living in it.


  1. I love your writing, and I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that you’re my precious daughter. I’m sure I’m objective….

  2. Tricia King says:

    I am SO glad to see you writing again! Your posts always make me laugh. Or cry. Or both! What a gift! I have to say, though, that I am disappointed to see that you have turned to decaf! :)

  3. Christy Noyd says:

    Your 4am kitchen-rummaging college self was not so happy with you for not choosing decaf. ;)
    Love you!

  4. Kristin says:

    I love you.

    • I love YOU. :) I’m sorry I never responded to your text the last time I was in town–I get in tomorrow night and would LOVE to see you while I’m home. Is your dance card full? ;)

  5. Lydia McIntyre says:

    I have to say…. I absolutely love your writing, you have an amazing gift!!! Xoxo

  6. Your college self went to bed WAY too early too. Remember me whining as you kicked us out of your apartment?

  7. I second on what John said, and not just because you are my precious daughter-in-law. I am objective. You make me laugh (and cry), and are an incredibly gifted writer.

    • I have the best father-in-law ever. :) I love you! [And like my Dad, you are not objective in the slightest. ;) You two are two peas in a pod!]

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